Category Archives: The Idiots and the Oddities

The Idiots and the Oddities, 4/23/17

Homer 2My weekly look at the Right Wing’s most ridiculous statements, unhinged characters, and all-around foolishness.

Let’s begin with our new U.S. Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.  After Hawaii’s Federal Judge Derrick Watson blocked the Guy-Currently- Residing-in-the-White-House’s (GCRIWH) revised travel ban, Sessions said in an interview:

“We are confident that the president will prevail on appeal and particularly in the Supreme Court, if not the 9th Circuit… I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and constitutional power.”

Now, I can be a bit of a nit-picker, but I think the U.S. Attorney General should have at least an elementary grasp of the law, maybe even the Constitution. One could write his ignorance off as a result of being raised in Alabama, rated 42nd in education nationally; problem is, Sessions actually voted to put Judge Watson on the bench.

From the same vein of ignorance of the Constitution comes this mixed up legal argument from lawyers for GCRIWH. They’re defending the orange one and his campaign in a legal action brought by some folks who were roughed up at one of his rallies:

scratching head

…protestors have their own First Amendment right to express dissenting views, but they have no right to do so as part of the campaign rally of the political candidates they oppose.

Yes, they believe the only place you can legally protest is at a rally for the candidate you agree with. As it turns out, one of the Deplorables doing the assaulting is also suing Trump. From News Corpse:

bamberger

Bamberger

On Monday one of the perpetrators, 75-year-old white nationalist Alvin Bamberger, responded with a lawsuit of his own. However, it was not directed at those accusing him of assault. It’s directed at Donald Trump.

According to the filing: “To the extent that Bamberger acted, he did so in response to – and inspired by – Trump and/or the Trump campaign’s urging to remove the protesters.

If Bamberger is adjudged liable to Nwanguma for his actions, Trump and/or the Trump campaign should be adjudged liable to Bamberger in an equal sum, because Trump and/or the Trump campaign urged and inspired Bamberger to act as he did.’

White Supremacist

Those big, tough, White Nationalists, so bold in a crowd of the like-minded. Get arrested and they start squealing like a pig, and crying like a baby: “Trump made me do it!”

On to North Carolina, where an investigation into voter fraud found one woman had “illegally cast a ballot on behalf of her deceased mother”. The News and Observer reports:

OMG

“If anything happens, you have my power of attorney and you be sure to vote for Donald Trump for me,” the mother allegedly told the daughter.

“[M]y actions were in no way intended to be fraudulent but were done during my grief and an effort to honor my mother’s last request,” the daughter explained to authorities.

The state decided not to press charges. Let’s all go out and add a vote on behalf of our deceased relatives in 2018, shall we? We can blame it on grief from our national embarrassment.

Tom Cotton, tells us we have no reason to think the Orange Idiot has anything to hide regarding his taxes:

It doesn’t take a lot of effort to find out where Donald Trump has connections overseas. He normally puts his name on buildings when he has them.

I’m guessing Tommy’s too young to recall Leona Helmsley who, despite having her name on numerous properties, was sentenced to prison for tax fraud. And she didn’t owe foreign governments millions. 

Gisela Allen, conservative candidate for Scotland’s Glasgow Council, gave a stream of consciousness style answer to the Sunday Herald‘s question: “Why do you want to be a councillor?” Among several statements she made was this little gem:

monkey

“I am not anti-gay, but how can you call that a community? Sex life is everybody’s private affair. You do not come out and declare openly.

Do you think I am going all over the city and saying my idea of a sexually-attractive creature is a gorilla? When I go to a zoo and I see a gorilla my hormones go absolutely crazy. I find a gorilla very attractive.

I got nothin’. Except to point out that the only folks talking or thinking about sex with animals are always Conservatives.

Finally, the GCRIWH has embarrassed the country YET AGAIN. The UK’s Daily Mail reports:

Donald Trump has demanded a carriage procession down the Mall as an essential element for his state visit. The US President is said to have ‘made it clear’ that the gold-plated carriage procession to Buckingham Palace should go ahead, marking an unprecedented security operation.

  The Metropolitan Police are already said to be preparing for the ‘biggest public order operation in several years’ as protests are expecting when President Trump visits the UK in October.

A source told the Times: ‘The vehicle which carries the president of the United States is a spectacular vehicle, designed to withstand a massive attack like a low-level rocket granade. ‘If he is in a golden coach being dragged up the Mall by a couple of horses, the risk factor is dramatically increased.’

Hell, I say let him ride!

Queen's Coach

goes out to LGBTQ NationForward Progressives,

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The Idiots and the Oddities 6.22.15

Idiots and OdditiesWelcome to the Idiots and the Oddities, a look at recent conservative ignorance and insanity.

 First up, we have the Stupid Republican Bills category; this comes to us from the Michigan House Republicans site:

State Rep. Todd Courser today introduced legislation that ends government involvement in performing wedding ceremonies and puts that responsibility in the hands of religious leaders.

CourserRep. Courser, R-Lapeer, introduced House Bills 4731, 4732 and 4733, which place the officiating of marriages back in the realm of churches.

Under the legislation, the licensing components of marriage would remain a government responsibility, but municipal and judicial officials would no longer have the ability to perform wedding ceremonies. The bills protect public officials from being forced to perform same-sex marriages.

So should the Supreme Court rule in favor of marriage equality, people who choose to be taxpayer funded public officials, would no longer be required to do part of their job. This will never stand up in court, people being forced to have a wedding ceremony officiated by a religious official, but hey – when you don’t know how to actually govern, all that’s left is Republican feel good legislation.

From my These Guys Have No Stones files: Republican 2016 wannabes dance around the confederate flag issue:

walker

Scott Walker: “I think they’re going to have a good healthy debate, and should have that debate, in South Carolina amongst officials at the state level.”

Of course, officials at the state level in South Carolina are precisely why the confederate flag still flies at the capitol, but by all means – have yet another debate about it.

rubioMarco Rubio: “… this is an issue that they should debate and work through and not have a bunch of outsiders coming in and telling them what to do about it.”

See, this is the mentality of Conservatives: There is no “we” beyond state borders; United States my ass. BTW, the Daily Beast reports Rubio “spoke of his love for the Second Amendment during his Thursday speech to the Faith and Freedom crowd”. Putz.

santorumRick Santorum: “This is a decision that needs to be made here in South Carolina. I have my opinion. But I think the opinion of people here in South Carolina and having them work through this difficulty is much more important than politicizing it.”

“I have my opinion”, but the lunatic fringe are the only voters I can get so I’ll just wuss out on that one thank you very much. Probably the most ironic, mind-numbingly idiotic statement comes from Bobby Jindal via Newshounds:

jindal
 
…Government’s not going to eradicate evil. And that’s why it would be also a good time to call America to prayer.
Um, you mean like the victims were doing when they were shot for no reason? Idiot. You can read more GOP non-statement statements here; I’ve spent enough time on these fools.
 
Next, in the No Shit department comes this Media Matters headline:
 
capt obviousFox’s Karl Rove: Republicans Should Ignore Donald Trump, Who Is “Not A Serious Candidate”
 
Another bit of dazzling political insight from Mr. Rove as Trump joins all of the other not-serious-candidates lining up for Republicans.
 
Speaking of Trump, Mexicans are pretty unhappy with him after he called them all criminals and racists, but they have a healthy outlet for their anger: A Trump Pinãta! What a great idea! According to Valley Central:
 

trump pinataThe papier-mache figure will come in a variety of sizes. The first was on display Friday at the Pinatas Ramirez store in the border city of Reynosa.

Avalos Ramirez says he created it “because of the hatred Trump expressed for the Mexican people.” He said “people want to burn the pinatas, they want to break them.”

I want one, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, sell them in America!!!

Finally, for the Nice Try, Bozo award:

jeb campaign sign

Jeb Bush thinks we’re so stupid that if he leaves his last name off of his campaign posters, we’ll forget he’s a Bush. Aside from the Tea Party folks, I don’t really see that working do you?

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The Idiots and the Oddities 11/2/14

97 The Idiots and the Oddities

I’m reprising a weekly roundup I have done in the past at Daily KOS and All Things Democrat titled The Idiots and the Oddities. It’s a look at some of the more standout ridiculous, ironic, and borderline lunatic statements from the the right.

When the Tea Party infested politics, it emboldened every missing link and failed genetic experiment to come out of the woodwork and foist their particular brand of insanity upon America. They don’t even pretend to think anymore:

Gay Marriage Bad, No Marriage Better

Let’s start with Idaho Republican state senator, Steve Vick, who thinks he’s found the way to fight marriage equality – don’t let anyone in Idaho get married.

“Another potential avenue that I’m exploring is just eliminating marriage licenses inVick1164 Idaho.
I have discussed it with just a few people, I don’t have a bill drafted or anything. I have discussed it at some of the town halls I’ve been at. It actually seems to be fairly well-received. In my opinion, if we’re not allowed to determine the standards for a marriage license, then maybe we should just not issue them.”

That’ll go over big. Lest you think he’s bouncing around all alone in that rubber room, his pals in Oklahoma are are right there with him, as CBS/Houston reports:

TurnerOklahoma lawmakers are considering legislation to ban all marriages in the state, if only as just a move to keep same-sex marriage illegal while satisfying the U.S. Constitution.
The consideration is backed by a bill filed by state Rep. Mike Turner, R-Edmond, who says that he and other conservative lawmakers agree that government regulation of marriage altogether is a topic for debate, KWTV reports. Turner acknowledges that the move would keep same-sex marriage illegal, and allow it to navigate around a recent ruling that same-sex bans are against federal law.
“[My constituents are] willing to have that discussion about whether marriage needs to be regulated by the state at all,” Turner told KWTV.

The Right’s Big Thinkers

I’m guessing you could probably count those constituents on one hand. Louie Gohmert, a guy who actually was dropped on his head as a baby, had this to say recently:

gohmert“It’s amazing, so often I get quoted and people say it’s outrageous and then a year or two years later people go, ‘Wow, he was right all along,’”

Yeah, I hear that a lot, don’t you – right after they call Michele Bachman a genius. Speaking of Her Geniusness, Bachmann is hoping her post-Congress career will include “a position at a think tank”. She actually said that. I’m guessing the only position she’d qualify for would be cleaning the tank, but she can dream, right?bachmann

From Phyllis Schlafly, a woman I keep waiting to hear has been put in a home, comes this gem:

P. Schlafly“There are all kinds of diseases in the rest of the world, and we don’t want them in this country. And it’s Obama’s job to keep them out. Letting these diseased people into this country to infect our own people” is “the most outrageous” thing Obama has done in his presidency.

Obama doesn’t want America to believe that we’re exceptional. He wants us to be just like everybody else, and if Africa is suffering from Ebola, we ought to join the group and be suffering from it, too. That’s his attitude.”

I know it’s not polite to speak ill of the dead, but I’ll make an exception in Mrs. Schlafly’s case: She is one nasty, hateful old biddy. Some of the most unhinged comments about this president have come out of this woman’s mouth, most of them bordering on dementia.

About Beauty, By the Beast

On to New Hampshire, and State Rep. Steve Vaillancourt who had this to say about incumbent Democratic Rep. Ann McLane Kuster:

“Let’s be honest. Does anyone not believe that Congressman Annie Kuster is as ugly as sin? And I hope I haven’t offended sin.”

Vaillancourt  ← This is Steve Vaillancourt by the way; quite the Adonis, no? Imagine that thing comin’ at you in the dark. He’s more proof that conservative men don’t own mirrors.

Palin family photo by Mario Piperni

Palin family photo by Mario Piperni

 

Another Palin Whine

And finally, after Alaska’s version of the Clampetts got into that throwdown at the hoedown, Bristol Mae took to her blog to complain about the coverage of the incident. After telling her version of events, she writes:

This is what I don’t understand.  I have mostly stayed out of the public eye for the past few years. I clock in and out of work – yes I actually have a job – like most middle class Americans and chip away at making my son’s life just a little bit easier.  So why does the media still choose to put the Palins into an entirely different category of people?

Yeah I know, it cracked me up too, that “chip away” bit especially. Most single Mothers don’t get paid speaking gigs for abstinence after they’ve done anything but abstain, or invitations to DWTS, or their own reality show for that matter.  And I’m not sure how doing a non-wife version of “Celebrity Wife Swap” (yet another vulgar reality show) constitutes “staying out of the public eye”.  Bristol Mae has complained in the past that:

“Most of what the media reports about our family is complete garbage.”

I think what she meant to say is that the media are constantly reporting what goes on with her trashy family. (By the way Bristol dear, your family is in an entirely different category; it’s just the people aspect that’s still under debate.) That’s the idiots and oddities for this installment.

Have a good week folks.

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